Enjoying Being Single

There are certain things that can remind you of your solo status in this single-phobic world, like not having a spoon within arm’s reach and finding yourself ordering takeaways for one far too often. And then there’s the more in-your-face irritants, like Valentine’s Day annually sinking it’s consumerist teeth in the back of your skull, drunk aunties asking you where your significant other is at Christmas and being so good at third-wheeling that it’s almost on your CV.

All of these things, and more, can make it difficult to ignore the antique belief that you’re worse off single. But it’s actually super important to spend time commitment-free and learning about yourself, without having someone else’s eggs weighing down your basket. And how can you hatch your own eggs if they’re in someone else’s basket?!

With more people than ever rocking the single life in the UK, here’s a much-needed reminder that it’s not all doom and gloom. You’re completely enough on your own, and when the right person does come along, to paraphrase Rupi Kaur, the most they will do is complement you, not complete you.

By  Rahel Girma


Your time is your own

With loving and being loved comes responsibility! Both of your problems become each other’s problems, which can help, but also hinder and feel like overtime if you’re not 100% invested. As if you haven’t got enough of your own shit to deal with without being weighed down by someone else’s repressed childhood traumas and career-based anxieties. Being single, you’re not shackled with anyone else’s baggage. You’re no one’s parent or therapist.

Understand your wants

Establish what you would want in a partner, what you need and what you deserve. Think about the qualities you’d admire in someone, what aspects of yourself need improving and what you require from a future relationship. When we throw ourselves into relationships hastily, we often do so without deciding what we’re in it for, and don’t realise that we weren’t satisfied until it inevitably ends, because we didn’t really know what we wanted.

Excel in other areas

Being loved up can be distracting and you can accidentally put other important life aspects on pause, such as work, studies, passions and friendships. Now you can work on things that are important to just you. Build quality non-romantic relationships (which often come second to couples), make decisions for your future based on what you want. Get that promotion, apply for that new job, get a first, rediscover a discarded hobby.

Love yourself first

It may be cliché, but no one can love you if you don’t love yourself. The quality of your future relationships will be so much higher if you’ve spent the time before acknowledging your value and the greatness of what you bring to the table. Often, we come out of relationships and question what we did wrong, whereas most of the time it was just the wrong person and/or timing. When you have a good relationship with yourself, the rest will follow.

This isn’t to make blissful, fruitful couples doubt what they have, but is just a reminder for singletons that life can be just as fantastic, and the grass is not always greener on the other side! Have faith in your own path and understand that everything will come to you when you’re ready for it. In the meantime, enjoy yourself! Your relationship with yourself is the longest one you’ll ever have…

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